Integrating Yoga and Lamaze: How the Ethical Practice of the Yamas and Niyamas Relate to Pregnancy and Childbirth. Part 7 – Santosha

Santosha – Contentment or Satisfaction

 

“The opposite of such conditional happiness is unconditional happiness, a state that allows us to find contentment in any situation, whether we are uncomfortable in a yoga pose or stuck in a traffic jam. When we let go of our narrow idea of happiness and open ourselves to all experiences, we take the first step toward santosha (contentment). One of the guiding principles of classical yoga philosophy, santosha has been described as a “peaceful kind of happiness in which one rests without desires.”

~ Cyndi Lee

Cyndi is referring to the principle of non-attachment.  Many women find themselves attached to the idea of birth – rather than being present in what they are currently experiencing. Or worse, we we find ourselves attached to an ideal version of birth… we can create huge disappointment.  It’s related to Aparigraha, greedlessness – when we want everything to be “perfect” we lose perspective and we set ourselves up for emotional failure.  We lose sight of what is really important and what’s most important is what is happening right now.  When we find ourselves trapped in our heads, we don’t actually experience life.  We spend time wondering “What if?” and wishing things had been different.  It often renders us unable to see the beauty in our lives because we focus on what we could have had.

This doesn’t mean women should just say “Yes, doctor, whatever you say doctor.”  We should always question and confirm before we make choices regarding our bodies and our babies.  (Use your BRAINS when you question and confirm!)What it does mean, however, is that once we’ve made that choice we need to accept it.

We need to accept that the logical part of our brains can’t control the process of birth. There are four components to birth – the passageway (pelvis), the passenger (baby), the powers (contractions), and the psyche (mom’s emotions). Each of these components has to sync up for birth to go smoothly.  Some of these things are within our control: we can change position to help baby move through the pelvis; we can control our breath, relax a bit and steady our emotions; we can let go of fear; we can add medicines to increase contraction strength (or do nipple stimulation!).  Some of these things we can’t control: our baby’s will and emotions; a cervix that just won’t dilate; size dystocia between pelvis and baby…

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

This is where we find Santosha. It lies in the space between… the space between what we can control and what we can’t.  It is the acceptance of being who and where we are right at that moment and seeing our experience for what it truly is.

It is no different for a care provider (doctor, midwife, nurse, doula, etc) than it is for a mother.  It means that the care provider should look at the current moment and address that moment – not the past, not the mom in the next room, not their own fears or reservations, not their own belief of what the laboring mom can and should be doing – but the current moment.  See the mother and her labor for what it truly is and the care provider can find the space between too.  Santosha, contentment, is found for both the care provider and the mother by being present in the moment.

“…I think the yoga and your class taught me to accept things and honor the process. I truly wouldn’t change a thing and it’s definitely the best experience of my life!!! My take home message for anyone in the class is to just be open and that I just felt incredibly close to my husband and will cherish that experience.”

Now that is Santosha.

Sat Nam.

Up Next:  Tapas – Austerity